3 Ways to Connect with Anyone
I love the word connect. The word itself makes me think of building relationships, friendships, and my audience. For anyone who knows me, they know I love to build relationships with people and I have no problem introducing myself to strangers.
In today's world, a lot of the connecting that we do is online. Whether it be through Facebook, Twitter, Text Messaging etc. We connect with other people virtually every single day, but what about connecting in the real world?
Today's blog is all about learning to connect with people outside of the computer and how to connect with people one on one, in a group and on stage. A lot of what I have learned about connecting has come from John Maxwell's book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. This is a phenomenal book for anyone who is looking for an increased connection with other people. I am going to share with you the top 3 connecting principles that I have learned about the art of connecting with people through John Maxwell's book. With these three connecting principals you will be well on your way to building bigger, better and longer lasting relationships with whomever you encounter.
Connecting One-on-One
In his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, John Maxwell writes, "Most people believe that it's easier to connect with people one-on-one than with a group or an audience." I am inclined to agree with him. When I attend networking events the majority of the time it means connecting one-on-one with another individual. This is easier in my opinion because it allows the opportunity to get to know the person on a deeper level. Connecting one-on-one allows you the opportunity to build the foundation for a strong relationship and get to know the person's interests, job, and any other relevant information.
What if you have never attended a networking event before, or you have never been able to connect with people? Well, I have a solution for you. The best way to learn how to connect is to get out there and practice! Remember, practice makes perfect! The more you learn how to connect one-on-one through application, the better you will get at it. I understand that not everyone is a natural connector, I certainly wasn't when I started.
I remember my first networking event that I went to, I was so scared and timid. I finally gathered up the courage to talk to someone and ended up talking more about myself and my interests than even considering their point of view. In the end, I realized that I did not make the connection. Upon reflection, I started to read more books on how to connect with people. I started with Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, and then I moved on to some of John Maxwell's material. The transformation was phenomenal, but it happened slowly and over time. Before I knew it I was applying the principles and teaching and I was now building relationships with other people.
Want to know the first thing I learned and applied in order to connect with other people?
Have an interest in the other person and have them talk about themselves more than you talk. Become a great listener and put their interests ahead of your own.
Using that as a starting point, you will be on the right track to becoming a fantastic connector!
Connecting in a Group
Connecting in a group can prove to be more challenging. This is because you are no longer connecting with just one individual at a time. When talking with a group of people it's important to keep in mind that the group is evaluating you on your past achievements. They are thinking to themselves, "What has this person done to establish credibility with me? Why should I listen?" The same type of scenario happens when you are connecting with an audience, but I will get into that later.
When you are connecting with a group, if people believe you have done what you say you have
done, they will start to respect you and begin to listen. Most importantly, the group will want to know that you believe in them! This will cause them to believe in themselves and you will be able to connect with them on a deeper level.
In John Maxwell's book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, he states that people in a group want to know...
That you will go first and lead by example
That you will only ask them to do what you have done or are willing to do
That you will teach them to do what you have already done
That their success is more important than your success
That they will get credit for their accomplishments
That you will celebrate their success
When you are connecting with a group keep those points in mind, and you will be more effective the next time you are called to lead and inspire!
Connecting with an Audience
This is my favorite! Being a speaker I absolutely love when I have the opportunity to present to an audience. In my eyes, the bigger the audience the better because it means I am able to change more lives and inspire more people!
A lot of people have difficulty presenting to an audience and I used to be terrified to be in front of an audience. I think the reason most people are afraid is because they're are afraid they will be judged, that if they make a mistake they will be laughed at and ridiculed forever. That's not the case.
I can tell you that I have made a bunch of mistakes when presenting to an audience and believe me I have been laughed at my fair share. When it happens to you, just remember that it's ok it's better to laugh at yourself for making the mistake than to let everyone else's laughter affect you.
Have you ever been to a seminar or watched someone speak to an audience and you are thinking to yourself, boy I wish this person would just get off the stage already! Everyone looks like they're
asleep and the voice just goes on and on and on and.... you get the point. These speakers are NOT connectors. On the other side have you ever seen someone present to the audience and immediately capture their attention? When they begin to speak everyone is on the edge of their seat waiting for what's coming next? These people are great connectors! I remember I was attending a business seminar in August, and let me assure you, some of the speakers were fantastic. Others, however, lacked that "something" that makes a speaker great! I remember one man came out on the stage, his name was Keith Johnson. When Keith came out on stage he looked like he was about to BURST with excitement. The man loved to be on the stage and it was evident that he was there to get us motivated!
When trying to connect with an audience remember that you need to have the following...
Enthusiasm - Show the audience you are excited to be there! Enthusiasm is magnified to the audience Animation - Be sure to use great facial expressions and gestures when you speak Audience Participation - Get the audience involved, don't talk at them, talk with them! Spontaneity - Respond to the audience and use your stories to connect with them No Notes - This gives you more eye contact and makes you look more prepared when speaking to an audience Humour - People love to laugh, it builds the connection, even more, when you can keep an audience smiling and laughing, even in the midst of something negative.
Using these simple techniques I know you can create a more enjoyable experience when connecting with an audience!
When you are looking you build relationships and connect with people, whether it be one-on-one, in a group, or to an audience, keep these three simple techniques in mind and I know you will become a great connector in no time!
To your success,
Jacob Lethbridge
